My goal this college football season was to “not have a physical reaction to the games.” It’s just a game, I told myself repeatedly, played by college kids. I shouldn’t be so invested that I physically get nervous, upset, and exhausted.

Here’s the thing about being a Notre Dame fan: you never know. Before each game, you never know: Are we going to get blown out? Are we going to blow out the opponent? Will it be a close game? It could be any of the three…and before the game, you never know.

At the start of the season, I had the great privilege of traveling to Dublin to watch my two favorite teams play: a heavily-favored Notre Dame against Navy (who ended up having a rough season.) And while everyone (including most Navy fans) believed Notre Dame would win, I spent the week leading up to the game reminding myself to not have a physical reaction to the game. And yet, as soon as I sat down in my seat in Aviva Stadium, a rush of nausea came over me. Seriously? I tried so hard to stay relaxed, to remember it’s just a game…played by kids.

I worked through my reactions and emotions this season, with some blowout wins and some close losses (and some not-so-close losses) and I made progress in relaxing a bit and remembering it’s just a game. Not perfect, but progress.

And then college basketball season started. And as I sit here watching the Xavier Musketeers come back from being down by nine points, only to have the other team go on an 11-2 run to retake the lead, I once again find my stomach in knots…a physical reaction to a game. It’s not just college football…now it’s college basketball too?!? I’m exhausted, and I don’t even have a child on the team.

What is it about college sports that illicit such a reaction? I know for some it’s professional sports (namely the NFL), but for many it’s a college team, a team of kids. A team of kids who are playing their hearts out 100% of the game. Sometimes they win, sometimes they lose, sometimes they make mistakes; but they are always giving their best effort. If they are doing the very best they can, what is there to be nervous about?

Ha. A lot. Because…they are kids.