It has been a difficult week in Annapolis. I write with a heavy heart, as my St. Anne’s School colleague, and long-time friend/mom, took her own life last week. Her family asked that we share the cause of her death, so I am not speaking without permission.

I have felt many emotions over the last several days: shock, sadness, confusion, and gratitude. Yes, gratitude.

When someone takes their own life, it is devastating; there is sadness, confusion, and shock. There are questions: What did I miss? What could I have done? And many unanswered questions for which we might never have answers. I have felt all of this over the past seven days. But I have also felt gratitude; gratitude for the community of faith that is St. Anne’s School… the students, my colleagues, and our families.

During my own tragedy as a student at Notre Dame, I was embraced by a community of faith that carried me through my darkest time. I have said many times, and it is even more true today, 30 years later: I would not have healed as well as I have - physically, spiritually, and emotionally - had I not been at Notre Dame.

When I graduated from Notre Dame, I returned to my high school alma mater, Xavier College Preparatory, to teach, coach, and serve as assistant dean of students. On Prom Night 1999, we lost a senior, Emily Ell, in a drunk driving accident. Emily and her date had not been drinking; but they were hit by a drunk 55-year-old man. Our school community was devastated: her friends, her family, my colleagues. But what I witnessed was a community of faith come together to take care of those who grieved Emily’s death. What I experienced at Xavier was the same spirit I had experienced at Notre Dame.

And I feel that same spirit of community now. Last year, when I returned to St. Anne’s (no longer a parent, now a staff member), I wanted more than a job, I wanted a community of faith. Because life is hard. Life is beautiful and joyful, but it is not without sadness.
And right now, our community is sad. As we say goodbye to our friend and colleague, we are deeply grieving. But there is still so much joy and beauty in our students and in our classrooms…because that’s what a community of faith allows us to see. And for that, I am grateful. Grateful for my colleagues who, even while they grieve, continue to love, care for, and educate our students. Grateful for our parents, many of whom donated their time in the classroom today, so teachers could mourn and say goodbye to our friend and colleague. Grateful for the children, who bring joy to our school each day. And grateful that I have the opportunity to be a part of this wonderful, grieving, mourning, beautiful community of faith.

Please, please pray for Dean and Sophia, as they begin to navigate life without their beloved spouse and mother, Christy.