DAY 57

Day 57: MOTHERS DAY

I wrote this poem last November in honor of my mom who was battling her second bout of breast cancer. My warrior mom underwent a double mastectomy just 10 days after diagnosis. This Mothers Day we celebrate all moms, but I am especially thankful for my own. I am thankful I can still give her a call, and I can’t wait for the day I can give her a HUG.

When You Thought I Wasn’t Looking
(Borrowed then rewritten from my friend, Mary Schilke Sill)

When you thought I wasn’t looking,
You burnt a quesadilla, and I knew that I didn’t have to be a good cook to be a good mom

When you thought I wasn’t looking,
You insisted dad coach my softball team, and not just my brother’s baseball team, and I knew girls’ sports mattered as much as boys’

When you thought I wasn’t looking,
You drove us to California each summer, and I knew it was important to visit family

When you thought I wasn’t looking,
You took us to church when no one wanted to go, and I knew it was important to pray

When you thought I wasn’t looking,
You cared for your staff and teachers, and I learned that sometimes family includes those we aren’t actually related to

When you thought I wasn’t looking,
You followed a nurse out of ICU, and I knew you believed in me no matter what

When you thought I wasn’t looking,
You bought me stationary (every year), and I learned the value of a handwritten note

When you thought I wasn’t looking,
I saw you tending to your rose bushes, and I knew a daughter’s love for her mother never ends

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I looked, and I wanted to thank you for all the things you did when you thought I wasn’t looking.

DAY 54

Day 54: CHRISTMAS CARDS

We keep our Christmas cards up for a long time. I used to take them down shortly after the New Year. Then New Years cards became more popular, so I left them up until the end of January. But now I have friends who send Valentine’s Day cards, so we leave them up through February. Last year, I took down our Christmas/New Years/Valentine’s Day cards on Easter Sunday. This year, they came down on May 1st.

Why? I love the pictures. We have three strands of lighted clips (think: strands of white Christmas lights, where each “light” is also a clip to hang a card), so the cards we receive become part of our decorations. And they are filled with love. I enjoy sitting at my kitchen table, surrounded by the faces, smiles, and warm wishes from family and friends - both those we see often, and some we haven’t seen in years. To me, that’s what the holidays (ALL of them: Christmas, New Years, Valentine’s Day, and Easter) are all about: celebrating love, hope, each other, and all that is meaningful to us. Why wouldn’t I want to be surrounded by that?

This year, the cards only came down so I could celebrate my senior. Now, instead of 150 holiday cards, I am surrounded by 150 pictures of my oldest son (some with his brother, some of the four of us, and a few with friends…but mostly James). During this month when we should be attending and celebrating his graduation, we are doing our best to celebrate him here at home. (And I think he likes it…)

When I took down our cards, I looked at each picture and reread each message. It made me smile, with a tidbit of sadness, to read all the well wishes for 2020. “Hope 2020 is a great year!” “Hope to see you in 2020!” “Here’s to a happy and healthy 2020!” How casually we shared those greetings, and yet how much we needed them to be true.

I hope I get to see you in 2020. I hope you are happy and healthy. And I hope the second half of 2020 turns out a bit better than the first half.

DAY 51

Day 51: CINCO DE MAYO

Today is Cinco de Mayo. But in our house, today is the senior-night-that-didn’t-happen. As a senior on the Mt. Saint Joseph baseball team, my son and his teammates should have been celebrating their last regular season high school game tonight. My son and some of his best friends, taking the field for the last time in purple and cream. Being in quarantine, away from his teammates and the sport he loves, I’m not even sure he remembers what tonight should have been.

When the baseball schedule was released in January, I looked for this game. I looked for the last home game, knowing it would be his senior night; a night you anticipate for four years (maybe the parents, more than the players). I saw that St. Joe was supposed to play against the team of a childhood friend, a young man with whom my son played t-ball, coach-pitch, and travel baseball. It was perfect: two long-time friends playing against each other, celebrating the end of their baseball careers. It was perfectly scripted.

I am letting myself be a little sad today. Not for myself, but for my senior. This is going to be a hard month of “supposed to be…” missed events. And just like everyone else navigating this craziness, there is no playbook. I don’t know the “right” way to parent through this. Do I mention his missed senior night, and risk reminding him of more loss? Do I not mention it, in hopes he’s not reminded of what he’s missing? I ask myself several of these questions each day, with no right answer.

But I do know, I look forward to celebrating these seniors as soon as we can. Even if they are already freshmen.

DAY 49

Day 49: MASS

This morning I slept in a bit and I “missed” mass at our church online. Thankfully, a friend from my sons’ high school posted a link from the “live” mass at St. Joseph’s Monastery in Baltimore; so I put on my headphones, logged on, and “attended” mass.

One thing I have always loved is how universal the Catholic Church is: mass is relatively the same everywhere, same readings, same format, throughout the world. While the songs sang and the language spoken might differ, I can generally follow long no matter where I am in the world. And it feels like home; the “sameness” is comfortable.

Right now, I have no plans to travel the world, the country, or even to leave my house. And while I “attended” mass in a church I had only been in once before, it still felt like home (maybe, because I was actually at my house…) And I decided: how fun would it be to virtually travel and attend mass in different states? Maybe even a different country? It will still be my same mass, but will allow me to explore and experience the different nuances of mass in a different culture. What I wouldn’t give to be back at the convent in Moshi, Tanzania, celebrating mass with the nuns!

During this time of quarantine, the internet is such a blessing. (And boy did we realize this last week, when our wifi and cellular service was out for about 10 hours! No computer, TVs, or phones!) One more thing to add to our prayers of gratitude as we pass the days of isolation. I now have six days to figure out where to “go” for mass next Sunday!

DAY 47

Day 47: SALUTING OUR SENIORS

Today is my high school senior’s last day of “classes.” He still has his senior capstone project to complete and five AP tests to take (yes, I tried to talk him out of taking FIVE AP classes his senior year), but his “work” is done. (Or will be, as soon as he turns in his final Theology project, due in 14 minutes.)

It’s hard to believe that on March 13, when he left campus on a Friday afternoon, that he would never walk the halls again as a student. I thought for sure he’d go back. I thought we would retreat for a few weeks and return after spring break for the rest of the school year, a shortened baseball season, senior projects, AP exams, and all the senior traditions that make end-of-senior-year so memorable. But no. We are still at home and life is still on hold, cancelled, or virtual.

I think all parents of seniors would agree that our seniors are taking this better than we are as parents. They don’t complain or cry as much as we do (or maybe they cry in their bedrooms, like we do.) I know my senior misses his classmates and teammates immensely. He’s missing Prom, Graduation, Sports Senior Night, and other traditions unique to his school; traditions he’s waited for and watched for four years. And while there are many others who are hurting, hungry, sick, and lonely, this is still a real loss for our seniors.

Interestingly enough, the project he’s working on for Theology, is a video of what he’s learned this year about Catholic Social Teaching (CST). It was fascinating and heartwarming to listen to him talk about the Biblical Roots of CST, how we’re called to follow the commands of the Prophets and Jesus’s teachings, and how this time at home has led him to view life through the lens of what he’s learned at Mount Saint Joseph.

Sometimes I’m not sure if my tears are sad tears, or tears of pride. I could not love him more, or be more proud of him. I think they are tears of both.

DAY 44

Day 44: COVID-19 LEARNING
This is week seven of online learning; well, only week six, since my boys had time off for spring break, but we are in week seven of quarantine. My boys’ high school has been online since day one; they left school on Friday and began distance learning on Monday.

Distance Learning. Online Learning. Remote Learning. Homeschooling. There are lots of names for this. But I recently read an article that called it what it is: COVID-19 LEARNING. This is education in a form we’ve never before experienced.

I’ve done my own version of homeschooling. When my boys were five and seven years old, we lived in London for three months. They learned how to read maps (both walking and for the Tube), we read British History (sometimes in the form of the Magic Treehouse series), we went to every museum in London, we rode the train through the countryside to visit castles and Stratford-Upon-Avon. To this day, my then-five-year-old, now 16-year-old, can tell you what happened to each of Henry VIII’s wives (he will also tell you the Hampton Court ghost tour gave him nightmares). Those three months were homeschooling at its best: making learning relevant and hands-on…not a packet of 5-grade-math that requires parent supervision.

(And please, please, PLEASE know I am the greatest supporter of our teachers! They are rockstars. And sometimes sending out packets is all they can do. But it is not homeschooling at its best. And heaven knows, those three months were enough for me…a former teacher. As much as I loved it, I was ready to send them back to school!)

My husband and I are also the recipients of on-line graduate degrees. They were more “hybrid” than 100% online, but both of us found the programs challenging, engaging, and relevant. I was exposed to educational challenges from around the world; my husband traveled to Singapore and Brazil to learn about global markets first-hand. When done well, online learning can be dynamic, meaningful, and expansive.

We are functioning in a world of COVID-19 Learning. Some institutions are doing it better than others (some teachers at the same school do it better than others). Some schools have more resources, or students who are better resourced. This makes a huge difference and can create an un-level playing field. But there are still ways to make COVID-19 Learning work.

My boys are so happy when they are in a virtual, or COVID- 19 Learning class. Teenage boys. Happy in class. They miss their teachers and friends, and hearing them engage and laugh makes a mom’s heart smile.
I have participated in COVID-19 Learning as a guest teacher, or guest presenter, across the country. Is it better than having me speak in person? No. But would I have been able to travel to many of these schools? Probably not.

As with every challenge (and this is a big one), we do the best we can, and get creative as much as possible. But mostly, we need to show ourselves (and others) a little grace. Patience. Peace. But mostly, grace to know we are all in this together; we are all doing the best we can.
And (to my sister) if that 5 grade math packet doesn’t get done, my nephew is going to be just fine. Better than fine.

Grace.

DAY 42

Day 42 - WRITING A BOOK

I just responded to an email from a young woman who is interested in writing a book. Years ago (yikes, decades ago…) John F. Kennedy, Jr, published the magazine, George, with the tagline, “Every Life has a Story.” I loved George (with stories of the famous, infamous, and regular folks) and I adopted the tagline. I do believe everyone has a story to share, and the young woman who wrote to me truly does!

I have often been asked, “Do you think you’ll write another book?” For many years, my standard answer was, “No. I hope I never have another story like this to share.” But in more recent years, I have thought about it. As I continue to live with the long term effects of a spinal injury - and the trauma of a tragic event - I realize I might have more to share. My story is told in What Though the Odds; a story that has a beginning and an end. But there is no end to this. As I have learned through the years, it does not go away; it is a journey. And I have started making notes, talking through, and writing down what that journey looks like.

Tonight, responding to this young woman who was looking for guidance, it was fun to reflect on the writing process. It was easy for me to guide her, to ask the probing questions: Why do you want to write this? Who is your audience? And to help her create her own blueprint for the writing process. And I, again, started thinking about my own (next) book, and realized it’s easier to ask the questions than it is to answer the questions myself.

I remember a day back in early 2008, when I was frustrated with the writing process, and Jamie said to me, “If writing a book was easy, everyone would do it.” It’s not easy. Even though everyone has a story.

DAY 38

Day 38: It’s a Wednesday. Just like last Wednesday, and just like next Wednesday. The days started running together a long time ago, and while the days can be long, it seems amazing we’re already in week seven of our quarantine.

Last week my grandmother celebrated her 97th birthday. She’s seen a lot in 97 years, but nothing like this. Unfortunately, she doesn’t have access to the internet and does not have a smartphone, so on her birthday, I just had to keep calling until I got a hold of her. But that was okay: I had little else to do. And she was receiving lots of phone calls!

My parents, my aunt, and my uncle, drove over to her apartment and stood outside to sing Happy Birthday to her. They are not allowed inside her retirement complex, which - thankfully - has not been exposed (as of now, and as far as we know) to COVID-19. Precautions work! She also said it was the strangest birthday she’s had in 97 years!

And she’s seen a lot! As a young woman, she decided to help out with the war effort. The World War Two war effort. She was given an IQ test to determine what she was qualified to do, and “aerial gunnery instructor” returned as one of her options. Not a traditional role for women, but my grandmother is not a traditional woman. She took the job and helped teach sailors how to shoot guns out of planes. How cool is that?

Four years ago, my grandmother was accompanied by my Aunt on an Honor Flight to visit the WW2 Memorial in DC. My boys and I greeted them at the airport, and spent the next day running around DC from Monument to Memorial, listening to stories from our Greatest Generation. (And yes, we ran. Because while the veterans were shuttled from place to place on their bus, parking a car is not an easy feat in DC. So we parked once, and ran from Monument to Memorial.) It is a day we will never forget.

And we need to never forget our grandparents and parents now. They are alone more than normal. They are lonely more than usual. And while I was thrilled my grandmother’s phone rang off the hook on her birthday, it needs to keep ringing.

Pick up the phone and give someone a call who lives alone. You might be the only person they talk to today.

DAY 34

Day 34: This week I had the privilege to attend the (Zoom) banquets for both the Notre Dame Men’s and Women’s Swimming & Diving teams. This is something I have wanted to do for many years, and the virtual nature of the events allowed me to this year. Awards are a part of any end-of-season celebration, and I was invited to present the Beeler-Hipp Award.

The Beeler-Hipp Award “is given to a freshman who best exemplifies the vitality, competitiveness, and love for Notre Dame shown by Meghan Beeler and Colleen Hipp,” and was first presented at our end-of-season banquet in 1992. Since What Though the Odds was published in 2008, I have sent a copy of my book to each of the Beeler-Hipp Award winners, to share with them the history of the Award, the spirit of Colleen and Meghan, and to keep their memories living and inspiring the current team.

As I mentioned to the swimmers and divers at their banquet, I think it is appropriate that this year, 2020, was the first time I was present to announce this Award. Because this year’s banquet was probably very similar to my freshman year banquet when the Award was established. Both banquets were bittersweet. Both seasons had so much to celebrate; and yet, both seasons were filled with such sadness and uncertainty. The circumstances and events are very different, but many of the emotions are the same.

As I sat through both banquets, I had to fight back tears for a season ended too soon. For races not raced and meets not held. For dreams not finished. But I was also comforted by the coach’s words, and reminded of the strength of community: we are better together.

This weekend, I am thinking of all student-athletes and seasons cut short, the races not raced, the games not played, the dreams not finished. You have all my love.

DAY 29

Day 29 (Monday, April 13): BOOK CLUB

Just as Maryland was planning to Shelter-in-Place, my book club was supposed to meet to discuss “Disappearing Earth.” We decided to post-pone our meeting, thinking we might be able to meet in a few weeks. When it quickly became clear that would not happen, we decided to meet online.

Like many others, I have been attending “virtual happy hours.” I also had a two-hour virtual coffee one morning last week with my Survival Moms Group (because our nights were filled with other “meetings.”) So I was excited to “see” my book club friends and to - gasp - discuss the book.

About seven years ago I was invited to join a newly forming book club. I had never been in a book club before, and many of these moms I did not know. But we have a determined leader who keeps us on track, sends out recaps and reminders, keeps us organized, and who is all-forgiving to those of us who only show up 2-3 times a year and maybe haven’t read the book. But we always talk about the book, which I love. This isn’t a book club to get out of the house, drink wine, and hangout with girlfriends (not that there’s anything wrong with that!) We discuss the book, the author, the writing, and the context in which the book was written.

Most of the books we choose, I would never pick up to read on my own. And about 85% of them, I am REALLY glad I read them. What a gift.

During this time at home, I have found myself searching for outlets. Books have been one of them. I listen to them more than I actually READ them: during walks, when I’m cleaning, and when I go to bed. Since my boys now have AirPods, I inherited a pair of noise-cancelling Beats. My son hooked them up to my phone, and I can disappear into the world of my book. This month, I disappeared to Kamchatka (which, for those of you playing RISK, is on the Pacific side of Russia).

Since many of us do not have time to sit and read, consider listening to books and stories. Audible.com is now streaming children’s, teen’s, and select classic books for free. Check it out!

DAY 28

Day 28 (Sunday, April 12): HAPPY EASTER!

What a strange and beautiful Easter Day. While today was unlike any holiday we have experienced, it was still filled with all I hold dear: Family, Faith, and Friendship.

I slept in a bit this morning, without having to set an alarm to wake up in time for mass. Mass still began at 10am, but instead of rising to shower, get dressed, and leave early enough to get a seat, I (admit I) enjoyed rolling out of bed just in time to make my coffee, log online, and not miss a note of my favorite opening hymn, Jesus Christ is Risen Today. I sang out loud while viewing the near empty church, and tears streamed down my face.

Today was a special and emotional day. I find my emotions run deep these days: alternating between deep gratitude and deep sadness, deep bewilderment and deep love. And today, as we celebrate the Resurrection of the Lord, I am filled with Hope for the future.

Today was also filled with many Easter traditions, respresenting those we love. On (Good) Friday, my husband made his mom’s Easter Pies. I’m sure there is a more-correct Italian name for them, but they are delicious and my boys ask for them each year.
Yesterday, my husband also made my grandfather’s bread, from a nearly-50-year-old recipe (my grandfather died at age 100 in 2005, and was a baker during the latter half of his life, often sharing his daily loaves of bread at church with his daily communicants. But more on him later…)
We enjoyed these Family recipes this morning after celebrating our Faith.

Today I was also grateful for my phone (an item I am often fighting against in my house). Grateful for the text messages from Friends, and grateful for the phone calls and FaceTime with Family. How would we have survived this quarantine 30 years ago with no internet and few cell phones? Probably just fine, but they sure are nice to have.

Jesus didn’t have a cell phone, and his message was made quite clear. Love One Another As I Have Loved You. There is a lot of love going around right now, and it feels good.

Easter Joy.

DAY 26

Day 26 (Friday, April 10): Everyday I think, “I need to get back to my blog.” But I have also been trying to avoid getting sucked into too much information on the web. There are articles, news updates, blogs, and data galore, most of which is well-intended, but some of which is contradicting and biased. Without getting into a scientific or political debate, I think we are all just doing our best to read, listen, interpret, and ultimately stay safe. But this is an adjustment for everyone; although for some more than others.

My husband has worked from home for the past 15 years. Actually, for both of us, if we aren’t traveling for work, we are at home. And while he misses going to his daily Orange Theory class (opting for the online version in our basement), and I miss walks, coffees, and time with friends, Jamie & I are used to spending a large chunk of our days at home.

But not so much for our children. So while I am feeling the displacement of the quarantine, I need to remember that my children are much more displaced than I am. They are used to being at school for eight hours a day; they are used to another three hours of practices, either in the pool or on a field. As teenagers, they spend little time at home (very little time, if you don’t include sleeping). They must notice the daily affect of the shelter-in-place much more than I, and I need to remember that.

Today is Good Friday, a somber day in the Christian faith. It’s a quiet day in our house as well. Maybe this is what Good Friday should always be like: quiet, reflective, prayerful; instead of classes, workouts, and errands. While 2020 is the year the world stopped, I am trying to take time this Holy Week, and this Easter weekend, to remember why we celebrate Easter and in a way that reflects how we should celebrate Easter: simply, quietly, joyfully, intimately.

Peacefully.

DAY SEVENTEEN

Day Seventeen (Wednesday, April 1): April 1st. April Fools Day. But there’s no foolin' around today (although my son has played a few pranks on his brother). Today was the day my husband was supposed to show up at their high school dressed in a banana costume; instead, he’ll dance behind them during a Zoom class. We love this “holiday” at our house. But just like everything else, it all seems a little “off” today.

I took a break from blogging because I needed a break. (I also had to deal with a little skin cancer - only basel cell, but still, the lingering affects of growing up in Arizona).

During the first week of our quarantine, I was glued to my computer, to the news, and to any resource I could find to read and learn as much as I could. And while it’s good to stay informed, sometimes too much information is…too much.

This past week, I have watched (Maryland) Governor Hogan’s press conferences, I continue to follow the Johns Hopkins graphs and updates, and I thoroughly enjoyed the creative songs and videos circulating on Facebook; but I have tried to take a step back from non-work-related technology. We’ve played games, built LEGO, and taken so many walks my dogs run away from me when I take out the leash.

The truth is, I’m lost. And reading news on the internet doesn’t help. I want to stay informed while staying sane. I am trying to responsibly navigate a new world of parenting, especially a high school senior who feels like his entire world has been taken away. Now THAT I understand. I understand being 18 years old and feeling like life isn’t “normal;” I understand being sad that I can’t be with my friends; or the frustration of not being able to go back to school. While the circumstances are so different, many of the emotions are the same. And while I lived through it, I’m a little lost at how to parent through it. But, like everyone else, I’m trying.

While today is a day for jokes and pranks, there is so much in our world that’s not funny right now, that is not a joke, and that needs to be taken seriously. I’m hoping some of the jokes inside our house bring a laugh and a smile, and some sense of normalcy.
Cases in the US: 159, 753

DAY NINE

Day Nine (Tuesday, March 24): Today had some highs and lows. I didn’t sleep well last night, which is never a great way to start the day. But I sleep in longer than I normally do. Just when I say/think I’m getting more sleep than usual, I don’t sleep well. Such is life.

I did get outside for a long walk with one of my dogs. I know, I should take both of them, but that seemed like too much work. But it felt so great to be outside, by myself, with my own thoughts. The memory of it, just a few hours later, makes me smile and relax, and resolve to walk (both dogs) each day. However, it is supposed to rain tomorrow, which has already put a damper on my walk and my mood.

Trying to stay connected during this time is drastically improved with technology. We all have (multiple) group chats with various friends and family members. Today, one such group chat spontaneously turned into a group FaceTime, which Friday night will turn into a FaceTime Happy Hour. Something to look forward to at the end of the week. (Hopefully I won’t drink all my wine before then. And thankfully, liquor stores are considered an essential business and allowed to stay open.)

No Monopoly games today. Instead we had a family meeting. We’re all adjusting to this new (hopefully not for long) normal, and needed to clear the air. (More wine please…) But I did manage to clean a few rooms. Nothing like the smell of bleach to feel like you’re keeping the virus out of your house.

I remember several years ago, I was frantically sweeping the leaves out of our garage, and my older son (who was not-so-old at the time) looked at me and said, “You really hate leaves in the garage, don’t you?” I paused, looked at him and smiled, and then went back to sweeping; but his question stuck with me. Did I really hate leaves in the garage so much that my son noticed? And then I realized that cleaning was a form of control. Or, for me, I clean when I feel out of control. That afternoon, when I came inside, I wrote the first page (or a page) of what I hope will be a new book.

I thought of this story today as I was scrubbing our master bathroom grout with a toothbrush. And I thought of the one page I had written many years ago. Tomorrow, I will find that page on my laptop and continue writing. Because “not having enough time,” is no longer a valid excuse.
Cases in the US: 55,041

DAY EIGHT

Day Eight (Monday, 2/23): Today I was supposed to report for jury duty, but alas the courts are closed. Now, many of you might think: “Lucky!” But I am actually super bummed about this. I have been waiting to be summoned for jury duty for 24 years.

I grew up a child of the courts. Not in the way that might sound; my father was a judge. I was seven years old when my dad was sworn in as a Superior Court judge in Arizona; at the time, the youngest ever to serve on the bench. I remember visiting his court room, his chambers, his office, and the “secret hallway” that took him from his office to the courtroom. It all seemed very important and very exciting to a young girl.
I also remember my mom taking us to “watch” my dad work, and then having to quickly squirrel us out of the courtroom, because my brother and I started laughing at his “judge voice,” which was so much different from the voice and personality my dad had at home.

(Years later I would be reminded of this at a book signing. I had taken James with me, and he watched carefully as I spoke and listened to each person who approached my table. About halfway through, he asked - while looking at the line of people - “Mom, when all these people leave, will you go back to being my mom?” I must have been using my “author voice,” like my dad had his “judge voice,” and James wanted to make sure I was still his mom. It was very sweet…)

But back to my thwarted jury duty. The first time I was summoned to jury duty was 1996. I had graduated from Notre Dame, but I wasn’t yet teaching full time. I had just recovered from my 6th back surgery (the one where I kept my rods-turned-windchime), and thought I’d make the perfect juror: I had all the time in the world, serving on a jury wouldn’t be a hardship, and I had grown up in a household that had the utmost respect for the justice system. I had loved listening to my dad talk about his cases, why he ruled the way he did, why the jury returned the verdict they did, and many discussions about which political candidates would appoint the best Justices. That was the way my dad voted; not along party-lines, not for his “favorite” candidate, but for the candidate who he believed would appoint the best Justices for our state/country. I grew up with a deep respect respect for - and belief in - our legal system.
When I reported to jury duty in 1996, I was taken into Judge Ryan’s courtroom for a case that involved murder, drugs, and prostitution. I was ready. Then the bailiff waved to me. And the court reporter did too. And the clerk. I was in my dad’s old courtroom. He wasn’t there, but his former staff was now serving Judge Ryan.
Dismissed.
Dang it!

I had to wait 24 years to be summoned again. In Maryland, you are summoned for a week. My week was March 23-27, 2020. I blocked it on my calendar. I was asked to present at a conference on March 27 in Virginia, and I offered them a June date instead. I was ready. Then the virus waved me off. Dang it!

There are significantly worse casualties than not being able to serve on a jury. But I certainly hope I don’t have to wait another 24 years to be summoned again.
Cases in the US: 43, 214

DAY SEVEN

Day Seven (Sunday, March 22): It’s late, and I should have started writing earlier, but at least I am writing. Although, I am too lazy to get out of bed to get my laptop; so I downloaded the Squarespace app to my phone. Now I can blog remotely.

We made it out of the house today to hike! And it was great. The map said we hike about 4.2 miles; Jamie’s pedometer said it was closer to 6 miles. Considering it took us about two hours, I am hoping/thinking it was closer to 6. But it was just what we needed…or at least just what I needed.
Just as we have found the balance between social distancing and social isolation (including inviting a friend to hike outside with us), I believe more restrictions are coming. I hope we can still hike.

In advance of the impending shelter-in-place, Jamie and I were up early to hit the grocery store. We’re now stocked for at least two weeks, but Sunday morning was not the time to go. It wasn’t busy…because they had no food! I was shocked at the run on …. just about everything. But we adjusted our weekly menu and managed fine.

I told my husband that I thought the weekend went well (now that it’s over), but I am glad they go “back to school” tomorrow; it gives them something to do.

I too have been learning online. About six weeks ago, I decided I wanted to learn (more) Spanish. I took Spanish in grade school (I can still recite the alphabet and days of the week from those years), and in high school (where I learned to conjegate verbs). Now I have my daily Duolingo lessons and I love them! Amo Duolingo!

We’re never too old to learn. Or to hike.

DAY SIX

Day Six (Saturday, March 21): Saturdays are usually one of the best days of the week: Jamie isn’t working, the boys are home from school and have sporting events to attend, there are great sports on TV, etc… Today was a little different: Jamie still didn’t work, and the boys were still home, but we had no sports to attend or watch on TV.

I missed the craziness of a DeMaria Saturday. I missed waking up early to take Edward to water polo warm-ups an hour before an 8am game. I missed running to pick up breakfast between games, while rushing back in time to work the game clock. I missed trying to figure out how to watch Edward play water polo in Annapolis, while trying to make an afternoon baseball game somewhere else in Maryland. It was often a stressful juggling match (and I only have two kids), but we no longer have such “problems.” Which, of course, weren’t problems at all; and now I would consider them a blessing.

Instead of water polo, Edward and I cleaned his bathroom (ha ha) and his bedroom (on par with the Bro Cave). I could pay a year of college tuition (or at least room & board) with all the money I have found lying around our house, stuck in couch cushions, and in the pockets of laundry. But it gives me some small sense of accomplishment to clean - literally - every nook and cranny (an idiom that originated in the 14th century: it combines 'nook', being used from mid-1300s which means - a distant corner, with 'cranny' in usage since 1440 which means - a crack or gap.)

I was spared a Monopoly game today, but we did play several hands of cards (Hearts, Sevens, and Tenzies - a quick dice game) tonight after dinner (take out, after Edward and I drove around for a while, so he could practice driving with his permit). I thought it would be a “long” day with nothing structured or scheduled to do, but it passed quickly and I’m still not in bed as early as I wanted to be. Jamie and I have been catching up on Lego Masters and the Masked Singer reality shows…all the shows we have no time for in “real life.”

Tomorrow, we hike. And we begin (or Jamie begins) teaching the older son how to cook - his request, “since I have to be home anyway.” Score!
Cases in the US: 26,574

DAY 5

Day Five (Friday 3/20): Today my senior and his high school baseball team were supposed to play in a tournament in Myrtle Beach, SC. This is a highlight for the team; a time to bond, to compete against different competition, and to enjoy the non-athletic aspect of sport. But, of course, the team is not in Myrtle Beach. This is one of the casualties of Coronavirus. Hopefully the entire season will not be a casualty. Right now, all high school athletic competitions are suspended until March 29; but I am not holding my breath that my son will be back on the baseball field come March 30. I just hope he gets to suit up at least one more time for MSJ. He loves his school, he loves this team, and he loves to play.

Today, I began to see glimpses of boredom. The boys had classes this morning, but they were done by 2pm. We played (game two and counting) Monopoly, before I returned to a task I enjoy more than playing Monopoly: cleaning the house. (The Kitchen and bathrooms were today’s fun task.)

The boys retreated to the Bro Cave to play Madden…but as fortunate as they are to have each other, and a Bro Cave, and more video games than one (or two) person(s) should own, the hint of boredom is bubbling. Thankfully, the weather was nice (77 degrees) and the boys were able to get outside for a while. Tick Tock… the weekend will be interesting; I already told my husband: we need to plan some family outings, outside, somewhere - before the shelter-in-place arrives. Because I do think it will arrive soon.

Tonight we celebrated college acceptances; a reason to smile after a week of isolation. We had originally planned on this being week one of two; but I think, in reality, this was week one of…many. Maybe four, but probably eight. Maybe more. So while I saw a glimpse of boredom this afternoon, I was grateful for a glimpse of the future this evening. My oldest son is going to college (hopefully) in the Fall. While the present and near future is unknown, there was a glimpse into his future that was exciting, and something to celebrate.

We have to focus on the positives. And there are many, we just need to look for them, find them, and celebrate them.
Cases in the US: 19,624

DAY 4

Day Four (Thursday 3/19): Sometimes I hate technology. Like right now, when I hit a button and my blog post disappeared. I’m sure it’s somewhere, right? Nope - not that I can find. So I’ll start again… Grrr…

I sound as grumpy as my teenager who couldn’t get his videos to upload (because he hadn’t updated the software on his computer - since he usually uses his iPad for school). He needed to edit the videos for an Art project (due tomorrow of course). Nothing like the last minute when you’ve had all week at home to get work done.

Today is the Feast of Saint Joseph, the patron saint of my boys’ high school, so they had the “day off.” Meaning, no scheduled classes and no assignments due (good thing, or he would have had to turn in the challenging-to-make video today). So…what to do?

Edward and I cleaned out the “Bro Cave.” Several years ago, when my two-years-apart boys fought over EVERYTHING, we asked them to come up with a plan to get along better. They presented to us the idea of a Bro Cave (like a Man Cave, but for brothers): a room for gaming. So, we took the couch out of the library and moved in two desks (I liked to think it would become their homework room, but it never did…)
Three hours, three boxes to donate, and two black trash bags later, and the Bro Cave was clean. I mean REALLY clean (because it was REALLY NOT clean). I even taught Edward how to tidy up all those cords with zip ties. Alternative learning. And a life skill.

Tonight my survival moms’ group chat held an online happy hour. We logged into an video conferencing site, poured our beverage of choice, and spent about 90 minutes catching up on some face time, albeit on a screen. We need to do this more often. I miss these women. I have raised my children with them; we have parented all ages together; we have made mistakes and lifted each other up. And now, when we are navigating this new world of seniors and viruses, and quarantines and colleges, we need each other more than ever. It’s not the same as getting together and getting a good hug, but it was good therapy nonetheless.

Monopoly finally ended. Thank goodness. Jamie won. I think we’ll play cards tomorrow.
St. Joseph, pray for us.
Cases in the US: 14,202

DAY 3

Day Three (Wednesday, 3/18): This morning started the way each day has for me: outside with a workout. It’s my favorite way to stay grounded and energized for the rest of the not-so-normal day.

The boys woke up for their own workout before their 10am classes. They have on-line class from 10am-2pm (I appreciate the later start time so they can sleep; and I know they do too.)

Once I made sure they were settled “in class,” I checked in with my survival moms’ group chat, and we decided to hold our own Zoom Happy Hour tomorrow night. Facetime isn’t as good as in-person, but I think it’s important during this time of social distancing. So I decided to FaceTime my sister. She was in the middle of a virtual yoga class with her boys (mental note: good idea for tomorrow!) so I FaceTimed my parents.

My mom answered the call and told me she was at the doctor's office. Yikes! Nope, she’s okay; just getting bloodwork done to follow up on her immunotherapy from breast cancer in the Fall. She and my dad just returned from Hawaii and needed to grocery shop. I think they started tuning me out after 78 reminders to wash their hands.

Having stalled as long as I could, I returned to my multi-day project: cleaning out the house room-by-room, and scrubbing the baseboards. Ever since I had cataract surgery (and therefore can actually SEE), I have noticed how dirty my baseboards are. In fact, all the woodwork in my house needs a really good scrub, so I spent the better part of the day on my hands and knees scrubbing. But even my teenagers and husband notice the difference (or - God bless them - they at least tell me they do).
Shout out to my book club for responding quickly to a request for recommendations! Audible might become my new bff…or at least my cleaning bff.

In a shift from our (my husband’s) preference to cook, we ordered take out for dinner from Kelsey’s Irish Pub. The owners are good friends, and - as with all small businesses and restaurants - this shut down is rough. If you can support local restaurants (not chains!) please do.

Our family Monopoly game continued with a short-lived comeback by Edward. Not over yet... Maybe tomorrow.
Cases in the US: 9249